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Stop AIDS in Children

Thursday, April 28, 2005 by Billy

Rachel's Darkness




Rachel swallowed Jacob until their universe imploded with lies and tragedy.
He slept coma like in the small sparse apartment while Rachel typed furiously on the computer keyboard. She blew him kisses whenever the words disoriented her. He was her anchor. And deep down she knew later that she would receive much more, enough to rattle the universe and beyond.
They triggered each other like desperate antagonists on the edge of psychedelics. Then he made breakfast and fumed when she played with the omelet. After fixing his dreadlocks neatly underneath a wide hat he rushed out to his construction job in the countryside. She fell asleep soon after dreaming of Buddha.
Three hours later she resurfaced for day things. Cyberspace rolled out. Ten new legit emails dangled in her inbox. She smiled and saluted virtual tender mercies.
Jacob found her spewing unrighteousness into the toilet bowl. The computer blasted raucous music like a soundtrack to her violent spasms.
“What's wrong with you?”
“Babe what happened?” he screamed crouching beside her on the floor. She kept on firing. Sweat drenched her like a monsoon deluge. Jacob's face contorted for the queen of the damned.
“Babe lemme take you to the hospital.”
“Rachel! Rachel!”
She turned around and murdered him in his chest with a gleaming dagger. He fell to the floor convulsing with mad electric eyes. Rachel shivered and she began to chant.
Random breezes ruffled her shoulder length hair. The horny honking of predatory drivers was deflected by the ambient songs that caressed her sunken soul. Nevertheless her eyes would flood before she reached the precinct close to the center of town. Decay and degradation hustled for miles around. Lecherous drunks stricken in the dark holes almost masturbated out of their eye sockets. A preacher fresh from Maggie's 7 eleven with bags of groceries crashed into a mendicant who had just vowed to forgive God. Later that evening the beggar stuffed with bread and sardines pleaded for the woman's salvation. The preacher satisfied his wife that night for the first time in years.
“My name is Rachel Dujon.”
“You can call somebody.”
“I am alone.”
“No family?”
“No friends. No family.”
“Everything is fine mister.”
She was arraigned in the morning in the high court on the seafront. Tourist cruise ships floated in the bay under an unforgiving sun god. Rachel was charged with first degree murder. The judge seem to spit out the charges. On the bay front proverbial tourists haggled for local t-shirts and wood carvings and tropical fantasies from colorful vendors who had mastered the fraudulent act of tempting innocence. The usual courthouse denizens chanted for mercy and death when Rachel was hustled out again to the waiting prison van. She was chanting too, for a different heart beat to strangle her soul.
Police raided Rachel's apartment. Broken flower pots, torn poster s, cracked cds and utensils remodeled her apartment for crack fiend heaven. Two mangy dogs howled bitterly at their canine brethren who barked whenever the police men grunted.
Police officer Samuels smiled sheepishly. He had blasted behind a black and white cat who had suddenly materialized from beneath the computer. He missed the Dell by a breath which was now splattered with blood and guts. In the interrogation room Rachel winced when she saw the computer. She didn't touch it but told them how to access the email. The murder weapon was the last thing on their minds for days.
She sat in her cell waiting for life to deny her. Two weeks had passed since the doom train had rumbled into her station on cyberspace tracks. She had grown thinner almost to her Zen Buddhist ideal. Jacob would have cringed. Fortunately her dreams these days had trickled to a handful of bulimic episodes. He had vanished completely like the apparition he became on that fateful day. She was thankful. Somehow she managed to suffocate her mind. Her sliver of reality involved counting the number of footsteps she heard everyday. It counted in the hundreds.
Stark naked reality soon shattered her silent evolution. A face crept out of the blinding light with an awareness only people on the outside could ever hope to muster.
“What do you want?” Rachel asked the heavyset woman seated across the table from her. The woman held Rachel's eyes with steel indifference.
“How are you?”
Rachel flew up from the chair. The six foot balding guard rushed in with baton armed. Rachel studied him. The other woman smiled and began to massage her short permed hair. Sirens howled in the distance of the other humanity. Rachel sat down with a wistful look. The warden grunted and resumed his soldier stance.
“You killed my brother Rachel.”
“My only brother, the only one who loved me.”
“But he loved you more it seems until you butchered him.”
Rachel remained impassive. The guard fidgeted.
“I want to know why you killed my brother Rachel?”
“I want to know why you murdered him?”
“I want you to tell me what he did to you that was so fucking bad?” she screamed in a ghastly voice. Demon lines rippled her face.
“What was so fucking bad?” Rachel licked her lips.
“He betrayed me, he betrayed our love.” Rachel exclaimed soft like wind chimes. She looked like she would float away if only a little breeze would enter the fray.
“So you found out about him?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“On the same day I stabbed him.”
Jacob's sister sobbed for the first time.
“You could just have left him Rachel.”
“God would have forgiven both of you.”
“Forgiven me for what?”
“I didn't cheat on him.”
The woman sobbed harder.
“You killed my brother for cheating on you?”
“Yes he promised to marry me.”
“We planned to have a family.”
The woman stuttered on the verge of a hard faint.
“But you can't Rachel.”
“Why not?” “I am pregnant with his child.”
Jacob's sister bawled in despair.
“Oh my God!”
“Oh my God!”
She staggered from the chair. The warden moved in closer. Rachel remained seated.
“Rachel am so sorry,” she cried. “You are carrying your brother's child.” The warden gasped. Rachel started to rise but fell back down clutching her belly.

“Jacob was your brother” “Jacob is your brother!” She advanced on Rachel with madness clearly defined in her eyes.
Rachel screamed as a sharp pain almost devoured her. The warden dived on Jacob's sister when he saw her pulled out something shiny from her bosom.
Eight pound Ezekiel struggled to earth at 6.06am in the Fond Cole public Hospital in the province of Greater Fond Cole. He would never get to taste or smell his mother. In time he became a perfect image of his father Jacob. Rachel saw him once after he was severed from her. It was a cloudless burning day. She felt empty and her eyes were deep sockets staring into oblivion. After whispering goodbye to Ezekiel outside the baby ward she began to chant. She was soliciting the HIV that had begun to consume her body, for a different heart beat and darkness.

Billy Jno Hope

Monday, April 25, 2005 by Billy

Code Life

village particles
blow across phantom scenes
I signal my spirit
for the epiphanous climax
they mock and swagger
as the credits fail
I lust for life
that flesh despised


billy jno hope

Sunday, April 17, 2005 by Billy

The Lesser End




With their cries and prayers spent the light raced away to conquer another world leaving the cemetery shrouded in silent obscurity. I found Trevor drinking in the darkness beside a freshly covered grave. The scent of Chrysanthemums filled the graveyard. Death had impressed Trevor once more.
“I told you today would be a double day,” Trevor grinned. I took the bottle from his skinny hands and drank it raw.
“Where are your black long sleeves?
“Those kids put that in the wash machine by mistake,” I replied. He snatched the bottle back from me.
“You are too soft man with these mortals.”
“Come on Trevor there are just kids for Christ sake.”
“Don’t bring Christ in this, he don’t belong here,” and he spat out liquor on the grave. I decided right then to call it quits. Blasphemy was no longer gorgeous and I turned to go.
“Where you going kindred spirit?” Trevor asked “You forgot the other one?” I hesitated. He walked passed me, a beautiful face obsessed with the macabre. I followed him to my last demonic temptation. A dog howled across the street for the new dead.
I stood before another freshly covered pit while Trevor knelt down in the dirt. The bottle lay empty beside him. Suddenly he screamed loud and blood curdling in the night. My heart must have exploded and I ran from the cemetery away from my mad friend. He screamed after me.
“They didn’t even fucking put flowers on his grave huh!” “He was too good for flowers huh?” “His death was lesser?” I ran all the way to the beach where I knew he would eventually come for peace, quiet his terrors. I would him ask why he wanted flowers so badly and whether it made a difference.

Billy Jno Hope

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zen beat poet from dominica daring to impress art.

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Deeper Than Starlight

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